Healing of the Hearts
by withedwardsince1901
Summary: After surviving a tragic accident in which she loses her Father Charlie,can she heal enough to let Edward into her heart. A tale of love, loss, and a relationship that will break through Bella's pain but what happens when something unexpec. happens to E*B
1. Chapter 1

**I know that I'm not good at updating if anybody wants to help me that would be greatly appreciated. I need help with my story I have good ideas of where I want this to go I just need that extra help. PLEEEEEEEEAAAAASE!!!!**

**This is the remake of my previous story starting at chapter 1 obviously.**

**I own nothing of twilight!!!**

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I was 16 when it happened……..

*Flashback* Sunday, September 5th

We arrived at Billy's at noon because Charlie had pulled an all nighter got off at 10 am and had to get all his fishing gear ready. I had asked him if he really wanted to go fishing he just looked so tired he cracked a smile and said 'Yes Bells' always smiling at my tendency to worry about him. Somebody had to do it so I stepped up to the plate.

Who was I to deny Charlie his fun and plus I wouldn't mind seeing my best friend Jake I haven't seen him in a while we've been friends since we were both in diapers!

"Hey Billy got here as fast as possible" he said shooting an apologetic look to Billy who just shrugged it off as nothing

"No big deal Charlie I know you've been working crazy hours just glad you could make it. And Jake here has been bugging me about seeing Bella" he added the last part in there smiling as he said it

I blushed and obvious reaction to being the center of attention even if just for a minute

"Thanks a lot Dad" Jake mumbled getting a slight tint of pink in his russet colored cheeks

"Well we'll be back late, no funny business, and order pizza if you guys get hungry" Billy said looking at both of us

"Kay" I said looking down at my feet.

"Got it Billy"

We both said at the same time making our words sound like a jumbled mess

We both just looked at each other laughing hysterically

10 hours later Charlie came in pushing Billy they both looked dead on their feet

"Catch any fish?" I asked trying to be interested both nodded too tired to answer

"What did you guys do?" Billy asked enthusiastically

"Well um Jake and I played a video game. . . which I won at!. Watched TV, and some movies we just got done eating the pizza before you guys came in"

I heard Jake mumble

"You only won because you cheated"

"Whatever all I did was accidently bump into your arm, not my fault you can't hold onto the controller butter fingers" I said taunting him I nudged his side causing him so stumble a little I just started laughing at his pouty face which made him more angry at the fact that he had been beaten by a girl.

Returning the favor he about pushed me out of the window I just glared playfully at him

"Enough kids, Bells ya ready to go?" he asked yawning the process of asking me

"Yea Dad" I turned around to go but then had to turn on my step again

"Bye Billy and Jake see ya next week" I said waving as I exited the door I heard Jake mumble something like 'sure sure'

I made my way to Charlie's cruiser talk about attention getter I sighed and hopped in the passenger seat. I already had myself buckled before Charlie even had his keys out of his pocket. He was so going to be the sleeping of the dead when we got home. I could probably fire his gun and he would just grumble and roll over I giggled at my own thoughts

When he finally got inside I examined him more closely seeing if he was okay to drive.

"Dad you look like the walking dead. Let me drive you can sleep on the way home"

"Bells your only 16 I will drive us home it's not that long of a drive I can survive" he said unintentionally rhyming his words.

"Dad I have my permit I can drive you're in the car" I pleaded with him

"No end of discussion Bells" he snapped

"Fine" I huffed I couldn't really hold it against him he has been letting me drive every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday practicing my skills.

Halfway home I started to doze off. I didn't think I was this tired but apparently spending the whole day with Jake tired me out. At least Alice wasn't dragging me around a mall making me try on 20 million different outfits.

A couple minutes into my sleep I felt my head hit up against the window. What the hell

"Dad" I groaned his name only to realize that the bright light shining in my eyes were not a good thing Oh My God

"Dad, Dad wake up" I screamed to him he jumped and jerked the wheel I braced myself for impact this was going to hurt. Charlie predicted the path of the car and jerked his wheel a hard right we were barreling at 65mph towards a tree.

I woke up in a daze to darkness, the smell of rust and salt, and the smell of gasoline this is not good. I turned my head from side to side I noticed Charlie was not responding

"Dad" I grumbled out my voice felt really scratchy. I was started to be overwhelmed by the smell of blood god I hate blood. To keep myself from passing out I started breathing through my mouth and out through my nose. Breath in Breath out calm yourself Bella

"Bella" I heard Charlie say

"Dad are you okay? stay with me Dad"

"I think we've been in an accident Dad I need to get help." I said feeling my tears starting to build up.

"I'm sorry Bells I should've listened to you."

"It's okay Dad really I need you to stay with me" I said pleading with god to keep my Dad alive

"I love ya Bells" Charlie said the end of his sentence fading out

"I love you too Dad" I got no reply

"Dad, Oh god Dad please open your eyes Charlie oh god" I started sobbing maybe he just needed to rest

I reached for the radio only to have a sharp pain radiating from my arm. I then reached with my left hand having to lean in farther to reach Charlie's radio I hoped this worked

I squeezed the side button on the radio with all my energy I'm starting to feel faint

"Hello" I whispered into the radio I hoped they could hear me

"Hello is anybody there" using my fast fading energy source

"Chief Swan is that you I thought you had the night off, just can't stay away can you?" Officer Pratt said into the radio.

"Help" I yelled out with as much force as I could muster up. And then everything went black. I had used all my energy everything that I had left.

I was falling into an abyss of blackness; I just hope I can pull through


	2. Chapter 2

**I need help Please somebody anybody**

**I own nothing its all The big S.M.**

Prologue Part 2

I opened my eyes only too snap them shut just as fast my head throbbing in protest. My body is screaming with pain everywhere my arm is aching something terrible. I groaned and opened my eyes bringing everything into focus.

Assessing everything in front of me. Bright lights, sanitary smell, uncomfortable bed and much more told me I was sitting in a hospital. I hate hospitals

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god I started hyperventilating what's wrong with me I bet Charlie is worried sick

"Oh" I gasp in pain feeling like my ribs are going to burst out of my body

"Bella, Bella you need to calm down" Edward's angelic voice chimed in he grabbed my hyperventilating face in his hands I stared into his eyes

"Slow breaths Bella, Good, Calmer Great Bella" he said proud of himself for calming me down

Right at that moment the pixie named Alice burst in the door

"Why didn't you tell me she was awake?"

"She just got up" Edward yelled back

"OW" I said

"Bella are you okay" they both said at the same time

"God my head hurts what happened to my arm? And my leg? I want to know what happened where's Charlie?" I started to panic and in my panicked state I started coughing which in turn caused my ribs to protest

"Oh" I said in agonizing pain

"Bella calm down" Edward said

"Bella you don't remember anything?" Alice said worry lacing in with her words

"No I don't now can somebody tell me what's going on?" I snapped at Alice and instantly regretted it

"Sorry" I mumbled throwing what I hoped was a sorry looking face

"Bella I'm going to go get Carlisle he needs to know your awake" Edward said sounding like a doctor himself

"Kay" I said smiling at him

As soon as I heard the door click I turned to Alice with a look of determination on my face. She visibly gulped.

"Alice what happened?" I said pouting and panicking at the same time what if something really bad happened.

"Bella I don't think I should tell you"

"Please Alice all I remember is Charlie getting home, heading to Billy's and then everything is black please tell me Alice"

Just as she was about to break and tell me Carlisle popped in and ruined it. I heard Alice let out her breath. She looked visibly relieved

"Bella I see your awake how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine" I said even though my head was throbbing as was my body

"Bella I need you to be completely honest with me" Carlisle said apparently knowing I was lying why did I have to be so easy to read

"Fine" I huffed

"My head is throbbing; my leg and arm hurt and my ribs feel like they're going to burst through my chest"

I stated just trying to get this over with I wanted to see Charlie and go home

"Okay all that is to be expected I'm going to give you a rundown of all your injuries that you received during the accident and after I'll answer your questions okay?" accident there was an accident oh my god is Charlie okay what happened

I nodded my head not trusting my voice or myself I would probably start going crazy if I talked right now

"Okay Bella you have a concussion, broken leg and arm, 4 broken ribs, 3 fractured ribs, lots of cuts and bruises and a fractured skull that correlates with the concussion." He said in one breath which is surprising because that was a lot.

"Bella are you okay"

"Huh" I said totally zoning out at that moment

"I asked you if you're okay."

"Oh yea I guess" well now it's my turn to ask questions right? I was asking myself questions in my head

"What happened?" the million dollar question that I've been asking forever now

He took a baited breath his eyes looking away from mine

"You and Charlie were in an accident just off of the highway" he said

"Where's Charlie is he okay?" his eyes looked up to mine with an ancient sadness residing in him

"Bella he . . . he didn't make it" he said and that was the last thing I remember he was just standing there trying to get to me but my body was there my mind wasn't

Charlie is gone how is he gone this is my fault what happened why can't my brain remember

What is wrong with me?

"BELLA" I heard Carlisle yell pulling me from my catatonic state

"Charlie's gone" I said tears running down my face

"Charlie's gone" again more tears all I could say was Charlie's gone

I just sobbed and sobbed Carlisle didn't know what to do he left after awhile and that's when Edward and Alice made their way to my bed

I wrapped my arms around both of them just crying and ruining their shirts

"Charlie's Gone" I said again for the millionth time that night

"Bella it's going to be okay" Edward said in a soothing tone but it did nothing to lessen my hurt my heart felt like it was shattering piece by broken piece

"I'm going to get Carlisle she's been like this for 9 hours this can't be good" I heard Alice say I just kept crying I couldn't do this alone she was going to leave me and then Edward would leave I would be all alone

"Don't leave me" I said as Alice made her way to the door

"It's okay Bella I will come back"

"Kay" I said and then started on a whole new round of sobbing I was still lonely

"Charlie's gone" I said going back to my two word line

"I'm here for you Bella you're not alone" Edward said pulling as much of me as possible into his lap

"I know how you feel" he said and he did he had lost his mom to Spanish influenza

"How did you do it?" I asked my voice scratchy from so much crying

"The pain never really subsides you just learn to cope with it" he said rubbing my head

He started humming an unknown tune which was very nice I was so tired I laid my head on his rock hard cold chest it felt good with my throbbing headache

I was lulled into a sleep with his humming I hoped I could keep this I don't think I could handle losing my friends too.


	3. Chapter 3

*PRESENT*

In the days following the accident I was a zombie functioning just enough to keep myself alive. I couldn't eat or sleep everything I ate came back up and every time I slept I had nightmares of the accident. I could remember what happened easier when I was sleeping but I didn't want to remember I wanted a decent night's sleep. Maybe I deserved getting no sleep it was my fault all of it was.

*1 wk Later*

I was still a zombie and when I see myself in the mirrors around here you would think I was anorexic. I'm staying with Carlisle and Esme for the time being but I bet their just itching to get rid of me I was always a burden. They don't act like it though but that's just an act. I see the pity in everybody's eyes when they see me it's horrible.

Edward has really been there for me I don't know how many of his shirts I've ruined with my tears. He just cracks a small smile every time and tells me its okay but I still can't help but apologize.

I'm such a mess up if only I could have saved Charlie. It's my entire fault that Charlie's dead if I would have just told him I was driving no fighting and stood firm he might be here right now. I'm a failure as a daughter.

The funeral was held 3 days after the accident and since my arm and leg was broken I had to be brought by wheel chair and again Edward was there with me through it all. I cried that night harder than any other night since this happened falling asleep in Edwards arms while he hummed that weird tune again. I had to be taken from Charlie's funeral I was crying so hard leaning over his body he had no life to him if only I could've seen his smile once more or gave him a hug.

As I lay on my bed crying I curled my feet so that I was in the fetal position with tears running down my cheeks this seemed inevitable these days I had a constant stream of tears all the time.

Esme and Carlisle entered my room

"Bella?" Carlisle said using a fatherly voice

I sniffled and lifted my head off of my bed wiping my tears on the sleeve of my hoodie in the process

"Yes"

"We would like to offer you a permanent place in our home" Carlisle said

I started panicking they couldn't be real who would want me anymore

"No, no I couldn't ask that of you it's too much" I said as I started trembling and shaking they couldn't want me I was ruined and killed everybody I ever loved everyone I ever loved I lost I couldn't love anyone ever again

"Bella I know this is hard for you but I already consider you as a daughter and everybody else considers you a part of this family" Carlisle said pleading with me

"Really you still want me in this family even though it's my fault Charlie's dead"

Fresh tears started rolling down my face

"Oh dear" Esme said rushing to my side and taking me in her cold embrace

"Honey none of this is your fault do you understand me" Esme said pleading for me to understand that it wasn't my fault

"But it is I knew Charlie was tired and shouldn't be driving I begged for him to let me drive so he could sleep it's all my fault if I would have just taken the keys from him he would still be here"

Esme just rocked me back and forth while Carlisle brushed my hair out of my face. It was nice to have a family but I just couldn't they would leave me eventually. I liked the feel of Esme's motherly embrace since my mother died while giving birth to me

"Honey I will say this for the rest of eternity if I have to this is not your fault, none of this is because of you, this isn't your fault and I repeat myself again NOT YOUR FAULT"

Esme kept on saying that it wasn't my fault while I sobbed into her

"Thank you" I whispered to her

"If the offer still stands I would like to join your family"

"Oh Bella, you just gave me the greatest gift ever, another daughter"

They both got up to leave but only after giving me a kiss on my head it felt nice and made me feel loved and wanted again.

Maybe this could work out and I could have the brothers and sisters I always wanted. I would try for them to be better. And for Edward I would try even harder

**I know this is a short chapter but it's almost like a filler**

**Bella will heal exceptionally fast her emotional state that is because she has a new family **

**Now don't get me wrong she still grieves occasionally she lost her father for christs sake hehe**

**R&R please tell me what you want to happen.**


	4. Chapter 4

"God I want out of this cast NOW" I complained for the umpteenth time again. It was big, bulky and PINK thanks to Alice. I ripped her a new one when I realized what color was on my leg

"Well Bella you know that you have another 4 weeks with that cast on so become one with the cast" he said chuckling at his tiny little freaking joke

"Ha Ha Ha" I laughed sarcastically this wasn't funny I couldn't even go pee by myself Alice has been helping me

Today was a rare day Carlisle had today off which was great when he wasn't making sarcastic remarks towards me wanting my cast off. We were sitting on the couch watching reruns of stupid shows because even though I live with outrageously rich vampires they couldn't control what was on TV.

Edward has gone back to school a week ago after arguing with Carlisle for hours on end. In the end though he had to go back to school and I was left here during the day with either Carlisle or Esme today was Carlisle.

I was starting to go stir crazy I couldn't go back to school till my cast came off so Edward and Alice had been keeping me caught up and bringing all my homework to me which was very nice of them but I wanted to go to school myself damnit

"Carlisle I wanna go somewhere I'm going insane just sitting on the couch and bed all day" I complained this argument had been one of the many we had had it I wanted to go somewhere I would even subject myself to Alice's shopping all day if that meant I got out of this house

"Bella I don't think that is a good idea you should really stay here and get more rest it's what you need"

"Please Please Please" I pleaded with him maybe just this once my pout would work I put on the pout face and heard him sigh YES YES YES

"Fine I have to talk with Edward but you do have rules to abide my young lady 1st no overdoing it 2nd if you start to feel weak or tired you better tell Edward right away no arguing, that's it for now if I think of anymore rules I'll let you know got it" Carlisle said sounding all daddy/doctor like

"Why do you have to talk to Edward?" I said it's not like he's my keeper

"Because Bella I'm sure he wants to be the first one to know and the first one to take you out" Carlisle said as if it was obvious well apparently not or else I would've known it. . . right?

"Ohh thank you, thank you, thank you" I said while hopping up and down on my butt I'm sure I looked funny Carlisle just chuckled and gave me a hug

Sitting on the couch I started to think about the past month my life had been doing so much better I still had my days when I was really sad and missed Charlie so much I couldn't stand it but those days had become less and less. I had a family a family I always wish I had they had been great

I had also started having therapy sessions much to my dismay Edward had dazzled me into agreeing

Which was very low down and dirty I would've agreed eventually to go to therapy but since Edward played dirty I was quite mad at him.

Dr. Cope is the name of my therapist and she's really nice but since I was so ticked for the first week of therapy I just sat there and stared off into space or some speck on the wall after that first week I started talking I wanted to get better and not be stuck in a depression which is apparently what you call happened to me. My therapy sessions are every other day with the exception of the weekends.

Deep down I knew that I needed therapy someone to talk to other than Edward I couldn't tell him all my insecurities he would find a way to blame himself and I couldn't have him doing that.

I was still mad at Edward so I didn't talk to him for a full 24 hours even though he begged and pleaded and that may not seem like long but it was a lifetime to Edward since we had started dating he hasn't made me mad really but that was the last straw it was bound to happen and Edward was the one who was in the line of fire. You don't dazzle someone into therapy

"Bella" Carlisle said breaking me out of my trance

"What were you thinking about Bella?" Carlisle asked concern coloring his voice

"Oh nothing much why?" I asked blushing as always

"You looked a million miles away you okay?"

"Uh yea I'm okay" I said blushing yet again at my stupidity

"Well I just wanted to get your attention the hospital called there's an emergency they need me to come in and I was wondering if you would be okay by yourself for an hour Edward will be home soon"

"Uh yea I'll be okay" I said smiling I hadn't been left alone since the accident. Therapy was the only reason I was remotely alone and that was because I insisted on it

"Are you sure you're going to be okay"

"Yes I'm sure"

"Okay if you need anything don't hesitate to call anyone and I mean it Isabella call if you need help"

"Yea yea" I said brushing it off I knew how to take care of myself I did it for 17 years before I met them

"Okay bye Bella"

"Bye Carlisle" I said

What do I do now that I'm finally alone? Well I could dance. . . NOT I could look around the house. . . NOT.

DAMNIT I can't do any damn thing but change channels on the freaking TV.

AHHHHHH I screamed in my head why did I have to be a damn cripple this sucks I want the cast off\

Then a thought ran through my head at that very moment

"I have to pee" I said out loud to my self

This wasn't just the urge to trickle it was like I could feel my bladder filling up by each passing second and it doesn't help that I have been sitting for hours drinking everything in sight

I'm going to the damn bathroom by myself it can't be that hard to hobble my ass over there

I scooted myself to the edge of the couch I stood up and grabbed the arm of the couch steadying myself god I haven't stood up by myself in awhile

I started walking well not really walking to the bathroom I would hop pretty much pretty funny if I must say so myself I was rounding the corner to the bathroom when my already screwed up center of balance got more off center and the cast on my leg or arm didn't help the fact either and I tripped

Since I had a cast on my arm I couldn't really brace my fall as I had always done oh god this is going to hurt I reached for a counter but the glass vase fell causing the glass to shatter and slice into my good arm ow that hurt

Finally after what seemed like slow motion I landed on the floor on the glass vase

I started seeing my blood running from my arm, my wrist was the worst oh god I hate blood

I started smelling my blood oh no queue the passing out and there it was.

. . . . . . . BLACKNESS. . . . . . .


	5. Chapter 5

I was woken up by talking. I didn't know if I was dreaming or not

"When is she going to wake up?" Edward asked I could tell it was his voice soft as velvet, angelic, perfect.

"Hold on let me look again gosh you're so impatient Edward"

"Thank you"

"Any moment now" Alice said

"Bella, Bella baby wake up please open your eyes" Edward pleaded and since he asked so nicely I did

"Edward" I said feeling like I have been here a week not moving at all god my muscles feel like freaking jell-o

"Oh Bella gosh I was so worried about you" he said kissing my forehead god why is it always my forehead I'm not five I thought to myself

"What happened?" I felt like I was in déjà-vu all over again. I looked at Edward to see anger flash into his eyes he looked livid

"Well do to your complete stubbornness all of us VAMPIRE'S came home to you lying in the floor in a puddle of blood, Jasper all most attacked you as well as myself and all because you couldn't call and ask for help" he said in a deadly tone he looked so angry he was actually starting to scare me

"Sorry I just wanted to go to the bathroom I didn't think it was that big of a deal and Carlisle had just left so I didn't want to call him"

"Well what about us?" Edward asked me

"I didn't think of that at the time and plus you were already on your way home I figured I would be back on the couch by the time you got here" I said and in my head it was a pretty fool proof plan but with my clumsiness I should've known something would go wrong

"Bella Bella Bella stop being so damn stubborn and let us take care of you ok?" he said exasperated

"Fine whatever" I grumbled knowing they could hear me

"So how much trouble am I in?" I asked had to be something that I was going to get in trouble for

"Well since you always find a way to put your life in danger you don't get to go out like Carlisle said you could and you have to wait 2 more weeks to even think about asking to leave this house"

"WHAT that's preposterous and that's not going to happen" I said raising my voice I can't stay here for 2 more weeks I'm already going crazy

Edward started leaning closer to me SHIT I knew where this was going

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen I swear if you try dazzling me right now there will be hell to pay"

"Me I would never do that" Edward said innocently backing up from my face ever so slowly gosh just to feel those lips hmmm my mind started wondering until I remembered what he was trying to do to me

"Yea right don't you play Mr. Innocent with me Edward"

"Fine" Edward started pouting god I love that pout face

"Edward why haven't you kissed me?" I blurted out Edward went from pouting to a serious face

"What are you talking about? I kissed you when I came in here"

"Not that Edward, actually kiss me on my lips" I said looking up into his eyes his golden orbs

"I don't want to lose control Bella if I hurt you I wouldn't be able to forgive myself" he said pleading for me to drop the subject but that wasn't going to happen I want to feel those lips on mine

"You won't Edward I trust you"

"You shouldn't"

"Please" I begged

"God you know I can't say no to that Bella" he stood up from my bed and started leaning closer to me

"Hold still" he said

I froze my entire body which wasn't very hard to do considering I was bedridden at the moment

"Don't move" leaning closer as he spoke his lips mere centimeters from mine just a few more centimeters and I would feel those heavenly lips on mine god this was like heaven if I die now at least I would die happy. God I love this man

Wait did I just say love yes I did maybe I really loved him but I doubt that he loved me I would show him how much I loved him by my kiss

His lips touched mine and it was like an electric current running between us his lips hard yet soft, loving and gentle. I couldn't help what I did next I mean come on you wouldn't be able to either

I laced my fingers in his bronze locks and pulled his head closer to mine I licked his bottom lip begging for entrance and he reluctantly obliged while I mauled his mouth but he was mauling right back. I poured all my love into our kiss all the passion that I could muster up I LOVE EDWARD CULLEN I shouted in my head

Heat was pooling in between my legs and I'm sure he could smell my arousal I tried to rub my legs together getting some friction but since my leg was in a cast I could move that much. The electric current running through my body was tingling in my fingers and toes and ending up in my lower abdomen why did I have to have a bum leg and arm

I ran my tongue across Edwards teeth and he froze and started backing up really fast he ended up on the near wall heaving for breath and convulsing trying to swallow

"Edward"

"Give me a sec'" he said just loud enough for me to hear him I sat there in silence waiting for him to recover that was the best kiss I have ever had and maybe because I've never kissed anyone before but that was awesome in my book maybe he didn't like it and that's why he stopped the kiss god I must've been terrible

"Sorry" I said in a whisper at me saying this he whipped his head up looking at me with pained eyes

"What do you have to be sorry for?"

"I know that I'm probably not a good kisser but I hope that it was as good for you as it was for me" I said trying to get him to understand

"You think that I didn't like the kiss?"

"Well yea that's why you stopped it right" I asked getting confused maybe I was wrong in my thinking

"Bella I enjoyed that kiss thoroughly it was the best kiss I've ever had" Sure I thought to myself just plain old Bella doesn't give the best kisses

"I just Bella I can't lose control with you ever"

"Is that what happened?"

"Bella I was against the wall because I was swallowing back all the venom you can't let your tongue get near my venom coated teeth that would be deadly they're sharp okay?"

"Kay"

"I still want to kiss you believe me there's nothing more I want than to lay on the bed and kiss you all night"

"Then do it" I said sounding breathless at just the thought of doing that all night

"Bella you do not understand I could lose control"

"You won't hurt me" I said truth in every one of my words

"Bella just listen to me I can't hurt you. When vampire's fall in love that's there mate for eternity if I were to lose you Bella it would literally kill me to live without you so for now can we be safe"

He loves me OMG he loves me my heart did a pitter patter and then skipped a beat

"You love me?" I asked hoping that I didn't just hear that in my head

"With all of my undead vampire heart I do" he said looking me right in the eyes

"I love you too" I said to him meaning it with all my heart

"God you don't know how long I've waited for you to say that Bella" he said his dazzling crooked smile lit up his face I just returned his smile back at him

I hoped that everything would work between us

I yawned and looked at Edward I patted the spot on the bed next to me

"Go to sleep love" Edward said my heart skipped a beat at his term of endearment

"Kay scoot closer" he scooted closer but wrapped a blanket around himself to keep me from getting too cold

"Hmmm" I said inhaling his sweet scent

He started humming that same lullaby that always put me in a deep slumber

The last thing I remembered before slipping into unconsciousness was Edward saying

"I love you, you are my life now" and I smiled the biggest smile I could cuddling up closer and slipping into my peaceful slumber


	6. Chapter 6

Over the next few weeks I continued to stay in Edward's room just resting and waiting until my cast could be taken off. Edward and I had been getting closer and I love our make-out sessions. I just wanted to take it to the next level but Edward was always worried about his control I knew deep down he won't hurt me and I trust him with all of me but he still says that's not enough

I have 1 week until I get my cast off. 1 week to plan on how to be with Edward for Edward to make love to me! This was a job for. . .

"Alice"

Within seconds the pixie vampire was in front of me

"I already know what you're going to ask me and I think it's a great idea" Alice said all excited bouncing like she was one crack

"Guess what this means. . . SHOPPING"

I groaned god why didn't I think this through before I asked I hate going shopping

"Alright Alice we can go shopping when I get my cast off but nothing too extravagant okay?"

"Okay Bella" she said way to nicely this was going to be hell

"Don't tell Edward he would probably freak out"

"Yeah yeah I know Bella I can block him out"

"How?"

"Oh not really hard I'll just keep singing Barbie Girl in my head" Alice said laughing

I started laughing at that too just imagining how he was going to react

"Kay thank you Alice"

"Welcome"

As Alice was leaving Edward made his way through to the room

"Love why is Alice singing Barbie girl in her head it's quite annoying"

"I don't know" I said hoping he would just let it drop and thankfully he did

"What do you want to do, love?" Edward asked

"Um you could take me downstairs so we could watch some TV and I could visit with everyone else"

"Sure"

Within seconds I was on the couch I had gotten used to them running around even though I couldn't see it.

"Finally you're sharing Edward what were you doing getting it on hmmmm shaggin' her?"

I blushed at his comment yea right like Edward would be doing that with me but soon enough he wouldn't have a choice

Edward growled at Emmett and Emmett just put his hands up in surrender

"Dude chill out you don't have to be such a prude" Emmett said still egging on Edward

"Emmett stop" I said hoping he would

"Whatever you say gimp"

"Hey that was mean Em"

"Kay pipsqueak"

"Whatever Hulk"

"Awesome I get to be the big green dude"

Rosalie came down at that moment and smacked Em in the back of the head

"Ow Rosie what was that for?" he said rubbing the back of his head

"I heard you picking on Bella" she said looking at me and winking I knew this routine play it up she gets to hit Emmett in the back of the head more and I just couldn't resist going along with Rosalie we had come quite close together since my father's accident

"But she knows I didn't mean it right Bella?" Em said looking at me with is pleading puppy dog eyes but I wasn't falling for that

I looked to Rosalie and winked and then looked back at Em

"No Em you really hurt my feelings making fun of me like that and now I feel like a cripple" totally playing it up I started sniffling. Edward was behind me trying to stifle his laughter knowing full well what was going on

SMACK

"OW" rubbing the back of his head again

"See I told you about making fun of Bella but you didn't listen to me" Rosalie said smirking

"I'm sorry Bella" he said looking like someone had kicked his puppy I almost felt bad for a second but then realized that when my cast was off he would prank me more than ever so I might as well get what I could in on him

"S'okay Em" I said enjoying his discomfort

I couldn't hold it in anymore and started laughing really hard. I almost peed myself I was laughing so much

"Aw man" Em said walking away knowing that I had played around, but only before turning around once more

"I'll get you back Bella" and stomped the rest of his way out

"Just ignore him Bella I'll see you tomorrow" Rosalie said following after Em on his fit throwing trail

"Okay now that that is over what do you want to do love?" Edward asked

"Um Buffy the Vampire Slayer sounds good" I said Edward groaned

"Hon really we've watched that so much I know all the words to it"

"PLEASE" I begged

"You know I can't say no to that" and I did know that now if that only worked on other matters

I put a big smile on my face while he got it ready to watch which didn't take that long because Alice bought all the seasons on DVD

"Thank you"

"Welcome" he grumbled I knew he hated Buffy but damnit I like it and I can't do much else

We watched Buffy for a couple of hours before my eyelids started getting heavy

Edward picked me up and made our way to his. Our bed I like the sound of that our bed and laid me down

"Sleep my love" he said and I was half tempted to do just that

"I'm not tired" I lied hoping we could do something else

"What do you want to do then?" he asked me

"Kiss me" I said hoping that we could have one of our many make out sessions

Within seconds his luscious lips were on mine our lips entangled together as one fighting for dominance.

Smokey the Bear always said to prevent wildfires well this wildfire is out of control my body was burning with passion and unfulfilled desire. I wanted everything broken leg be damned. I laced my fingers in his bronze locks tugging his hair lightly while holding him to my lips hoping that he would pull away. Edward groaned into my mouth god that was the hottest sound and I wanted nothing more than to make him do it again

"Bella" he moaned I knew he was getting close to his breaking point

I shivered in pleasure this kiss was deeper than any of the ones before I tried to get Edward's shirt off of him and he helped me by completely ripping it off of his body I shivered again at the sudden change from hot to cold this was heaven

Edward found my lips a mere millisecond after he had his shirt off I ran my hands down his back Edward shuddered in response

I ground my hips into his ever growing erection and he again moaned out my name and shuddered in pleasure

"Bella"

"Edward" I moaned reaching for his erection with my good hand.

My hand was mere inches from grabbing onto his dick oh god I've waited so long for this. This is what I wanted

Edward froze the moment my hand made a connection with his dick. His hand locked around my wrist like ice handcuffs stopping me from any further movement

"Stop" he said breathless laying stock still trembling as he took in each heaving breath he lowered his head to the crevasse of my neck and inhaled deeply from my collar bone to up underneath my chin I shivered in delight

"Bella we can't do this" my heart just crumpled he doesn't want me

"Edward why not don't you want me" I said defeated tears pooling in my eyes I just wanted to show him how much I love him couldn't he see that

"Bella don't you ever say that again" he snapped at me and I flinched because he had so much anger laced in his words he hopped up off of the bed and started pacing his shirt still beside me in tatters

"Sorry"

"Bella I will always want you ALWAYS but it's so damn hard your blood is just so appetizing I can't lose control with you your heart beat is racing and AH I just can't" He said sounding saddened

"You won't lose control" I said for the bazillionth time hoping just once that he would believe me

"You don't know that Bella and I can't take chances with you"

"Just go hunt Edward your eyes are black" I said overwhelmed yet again

"That's not because I'm hungry for food that's because I'm hungry for you" he was turned on by me and his eyes turn black I would have to keep that in my arsenal

"Oh" I said blushing hotter than I have before

"See Bella I told you there's nothing more that I want to do right now than make love to you but I'm so afraid Bella I'm scared that I'm going to hurt you" he sounded so small and fragile when he said that I just wanted to get up and hug him tell him everything was going to be okay

"I'm scared to but I know that we belong together Edward we do" I wanted him to understand that I was just as afraid as he was scared out of my mind

"I don't know if we'll ever be able to be together like that Bella" saddened by his own admission

"Can we just try if it doesn't work out then fine but we can't say no to something we've never tried" I was begging, pleading that we could at least try to make love

"Please" Edward looked up at me and just sighed in defeat

"Yes Bella we'll try but not right now okay and when I say that we have to stop we have to stop okay"

"Yea yea" I said brushing it off I know that he won't lose control I just have to get him to believe in himself

"Now go to sleep love please" he said coming over to his side of the bed and plopping down on it

I rolled over as best I could and cuddled up to him I was burning up from our recent activity and his body was the perfect antidote

"You'll be the death of me Bella Swan" he said kissing the top of my head I just huffed in response he chuckled and I held him tighter enjoying the vibrations from his laughter

"I love you Edward Cullen" I kissed his chest

"I love you too Bella Swan" he kissed my head

I drifted off into the dark abyss of sleep the unconscious realm of all things fiction

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	7. Chapter 7

Today was the day that I get this god awful ugly pink cast off and get a walking brace in place of it. After that ordeal I have a shopping date set up with Alice

"I'm nervous" I said to Edward biting on my bottom lip which was a constant nervous habit. I heard Edward bite back a groan what's wrong with him

"What?"

"Nothing" he said walking over to me putting his arms around me and picking me up in the process

"There's nothing to be nervous about Bella Carlisle will be the one taking off the cast so it shouldn't hurt and he will work fast" Edward said yet again reassuring me that everything is going to be okay

"My leg is going to look like Chewbacca" I said complaining obviously I wouldn't be able to shave the only thing I could do was move the steel rods and that would itch my leg and then I got yelled at stupid vampires and there stupid super hearing

Edward just chuckled while shaking his head at my reasoning

Just then Carlisle entered the room

"Bella Edward" he said nodding at both of us acknowledging our presence

"Okay Bella I know your nervous about this but there should be no pain only lots of sound okay" he said asking if I was going to be okay

"Yea I should be fine right you're not going to accidently cut off my leg are you because I think I'm going to need that" I said asking in all seriousness

Edward and Carlisle both started laughing and not just a chuckle like deep throaty laughs this was not something to laugh about I don't think Edward would like dating a gimp with one leg

"Glad I amuse you" I mumbled

"No Bella I'm not going to cut off your leg" he said through his fits of laughter

Carlisle then made his way over the cabinets grabbing what looked like a circular saw OMG he lied that's going to take off my leg

I started breathing heavier my heart racing Edward groaned from beside me

"Edward are you okay?"

"Bella" he said whimpering in front of his father

"What?" I said genuinely concerned about him he didn't look so well I thought vampires couldn't get sick

"Can you please try to calm your racing heart?" he pleaded with me choking back what I assumed to be venom

"Sorry" I said blushing at my stupidity obviously my racing heart would bug him

Carlisle had everything ready then and made his way over to my cast if you want to call this ugly pink contraption that I had to wait another week to get the ugly pink one off my arm then I would be free

"Okay Bella this won't hurt a bit just keep still" Carlisle said to me trying to calm my nerves

I nodded my head in response waving my hands at Edward so he could come closer to me I needed him right now I hoped my blood wasn't too bad for him at this present moment

He reluctantly made his way over to me and I immediately wrapped my good arm around him inhaling his scent and therefore calming myself including my heart beat.

Edward instantly relaxed at my calming heat beat I felt tugging on my leg and heard the loud saw start up I just clung onto Edward tighter inhaling his scent

The sudden burst of cool air had me gasping wow I hadn't felt the air on my leg for quite some time it was great but like I said my leg looked lighter and darker. Lighter because of the no sun exposure and darker because of all the hair

"Bella I have a surprise for you and I know that you might not want it but I hope you do" he said I hate gifts I really do and second on my list of things to hate is surprises

"I don't like surprises Carlisle"

I heard Edward chuckle beside me damn mind reading vampire

"Well okay but if you don't want your arm cast off I guess we could leave it on their longer since you don't like surprises" Carlisle said shrugging his shoulders like it wasn't a big deal

"YEA I want it off are you crazy this stupid pink thing and I still partly blame you guys you've known me for quite awhile and know that I despise the color pink" I practically yelled at him excitement and anger coloring my tone at the same time

"Okay Okay no need to go crazy on me Bella" Carlisle laughed at me and made his way to my arm I again pulled Edward closer to me while stretching out my arm I buried my face in his neck and inhaled god he smelled so good. His scent was like a drug to me and vice a versa with him I need him for my survival

Again I felt tugging but this time it was on my arm and again I gasped when I felt the cool air on my arm I backed away from Edward's neck and looked at my arm I moved it around and twisted stretching the muscles that hadn't been used in a while I seen the scars nice and pink

"Why do I have scars?" I asked utterly confused I thought they just had to set it

"Bella in the accident your arm was crushed we had to go in and screw the bones in place, set it right, and then cast you, you're lucky it wasn't worse"

I just sighed now I have an ugly arm but I guess it really could've been worse

"Kay" I said smiling at least I had my life and then suddenly I felt guilty this isn't right Charlie's gone and I had to live why? I guess this was something else I would have to bring up at therapy with Dr. Cope

Edward took my arm and helped me down the brace I had now was black and much smaller setting against my skin and I could take it off. Yes the freedom I could take showers by myself and go to the bathroom by myself and no more wheelchair WOO HOO I felt awesome when I get home I'm so shaving

Edward inhaled on our way out of the hospital

"Hmmm I can smell the adrenaline in your blood what's got you so hyped up?" he said inhaling yet again

"I can go to the bathroom by myself" I said all proud of myself and then blushing when I realized what I had said

"You amaze me Bella Swan I never know what's going to come out of your mouth" he said shaking his head

"What does it smell like when adrenaline is running through my blood to you?" I asked simply out of curiosity

He inhaled again from my collar bone to right up under my chin making me tremble and my knees going weak he just chuckled at my response and his grip tightened while we made our way to his Volvo

"It almost makes your blood smell bittersweet very appetizing can I have a taste?" Edward asked in all seriousness I just froze for a second did he really just ask me that OMG is he serious what do I say

Edward laughed at my lack of response I was utterly speechless but somehow managed to say

"If it pleases you" I mumbled out

Edward groaned at this looking upset at me his eyes pained stopping us in our tracks and gazing deep into my eyes

"Bella don't ever say that again I have a hard enough time resisting your blood I don't need you giving me permission alright" he said very angry I thought this is what he wanted

"Okay NEVER Edward can you taste my blood muwahahaha" I started an evil laugh and Edward laughed along with me enjoying ourselves and being able to joke about it and lightening up the situation

Edward and I got to the Volvo and as always he opened my door for me always such the gentlemen

We made our way to the house faster than normal because Edward always drove 150 freaking miles per hour. We pulled into the driveway and Alice was waiting for me jumping up and down next to her yellow Porsche.

"Alice take a chill pill" I said laughing at her eagerness god if vampires could take Ritalin she would be the first I would prescribe it too I'm so glad Edward couldn't read my mind

"Whatever get in the Porsche we have to shop and don't have that much time" Alice said all but pushing me into her car I hopped right back out and ran to Edward giving him a hug and a big kiss.

"Yea right Alice with your driving we'll be there in an hour tops and I want to take a shower first"

I then turned to Edward

"I will be 20 minutes" I said talking about my shower

"Hurry up Bella we don't have that much time" Alice said

20 minutes later and I was marching down the stairs a new woman shaved legs and all I walked up to Edward and wrapped my arms around him kissing his very soundly and deeply making my knees go weak yet again

"I love you, be back soon, I'll call you if I need saving" I said laughing at the last part

"Love you too" Edward said reluctantly letting me go to my ultimate doom and walk into hell

I climbed into the passenger side of Alice's yellow car waiting for her to get in. Her and Edward talking silently god I hated it when they do that.

5 seconds later we were tearing down the Cullen's driveway towards Port Angeles on our way to all the malls or as I like to call it the dungeon leading to Hell

25 minutes later we were zooming at the speed of sound when we pulled into Port Angeles

"Okay V.S. first Bella if you're going to do this right you'll need all the help you can get"

"What's V.S.?"

"You seriously don't know what am I going to do with you V.S. is Victoria Secrets" she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh" I said blushing from my head to my toe didn't know she was going to go as far as V.S. for everything but I guess I should've known this is Alice we're talking about

We walked into the store and Alice went right to work picking up one of everything and yelling at me to wait for her at the dressing room.

Alice came at me with 30 outfits 30 I about passed out and apparently I had to try on every one

"Alice really" I asked hoping she would get my point

"Yes Bella now stop complaining I could've gotten more think about that" with her saying that I completely clammed up no way in hell I was trying on more lingerie this was embarrassing as it was I had a full body flush every time I tried on something

"Okay Bella we're getting them all" she said clapping her hands together excited about her discovery

"Wh. Wh. What we are not getting all of these I'll never wear them all" I said complaining

"I can't pay you back Alice I'll try to though" I said I hated it when she bought stuff for me

"Silly Bella I wanted to take you shopping I'm paying see my logic it's very good if you ask me" she said in her tinkling laughter as she made her way to the counter laying down all of my items

After Alice paid for the V.S. items and we made our way to 7 different clothing stores before I had nagged her enough to take me back to Edward I was starting to miss him dearly

"Fine gosh Bella you whine way too much you should enjoy shopping not act like it's your death" she said to me and I couldn't really care less I was going to see Edward

We pulled into the Cullen's drive and hour later because apparently Alice wanted to drive slow she was driving like a grandma compared to how she normally drives

"Edward" I screamed jumping out of the car I hated being away from him for so long and now that I could run he was waiting for me on the steps and I was charging full force ahead yes I had a walking brace but I couldn't care right now as I was getting closer my foot caught on to thin air and I started going forward bracing myself again for yet another fall but that never happened I felt strong arms on my waist holding me from my impending doom with the ground I guess when I started walking again my clumsiness just followed

"I really missed catching you" Edward said chuckling at me but still holding me close I leaned forward

"Kiss me" I said

"My pleasure" he said lowering his head the rest of the way and putting his soft lips on mine we were both fighting for dominance I licked his bottom lip as always asking for entrance that he readily granted I knew now to stay away from his teeth we could make out all day Edward groaned into my mouth

"Bella" he said against my lips sending delicious vibrations down my spine I shuttered in pleasure I wanted nothing more than us together forever and with that I felt wetness pool between my thighs could this get any better. He pulled back and I knew he was going to stop before we went too far.

"Bella we need to stop before I lose control" Edward said

"Why do you always have to be the responsible one?"

"Because I have to be" he said kissing my forehead

"Why don't you let me be the responsible one for the rest of the night?" I asked trailing my fingers up and down his chest feeling the muscles contract with my touch

"Because I don't trust you" he said

"You don't trust me" I asked in mock horror

He laughed at me and grabbed my hands to stop them

"With this NO" he said leading us into the house since we had been standing out here for an hour just making out and talking time always flies when I'm with Edward

I hope we can be like this forever

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	8. Chapter 8

"_Dad you look like the walking dead let me drive so you can sleep on the way home"_

"_Bells your only 16 I will drive us home it's not that long of a drive I can survive" he said unintentionally rhyming his words_

"_Dad I have my permit, I can drive, and you're in the car" I pleaded with him_

"_No end of discussion Bells" he snapped_

"_Fine" I huffed I couldn't really hold it against him he has been letting me drive every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday practicing my skills._

_Halfway home I started to doze off. I didn't think I was this tired but apparently spending the whole day with Jake tired me out. At least Alice wasn't dragging me around a mall making me try on 20 million different outfits._

_A couple minutes into my sleep I felt my head hit up against the window. What the hell_

"_Dad" I groaned his name only to realize that the bright light shining in my eyes were not a good thing Oh My God_

"_Dad, Dad wake up" I screamed to him he jumped and jerked the wheel I braced myself for impact this was going to hurt. Charlie predicted the path of the car and jerked his wheel a hard right we were barreling at 65mph towards a tree. _

_I woke up in a daze to darkness, the smell of rust and salt, and the smell of gasoline this is not good. I turned my head from side to side I noticed Charlie was not responding_

"_Dad" I grumbled out my voice felt really scratchy. I was started to be overwhelmed by the smell of blood god I hate blood. To keep myself from passing out I started breathing through my mouth and out through my nose. Breath in Breath out calm yourself Bella_

"_Bella" I heard Charlie say_

"_Dad are you okay? Stay with me Dad"_

"_I think we've been in an accident Dad I need to get help." I said feeling my tears starting to build up._

"_I'm sorry Bells I should've listened to you."_

"_It's okay Dad really I need you to stay with me" I said pleading with god to keep my Dad alive_

"_I love ya Bells" Charlie said the end of his sentence fading out_

"_Dad DAD" I started sobbing_

"_EDWARD help me EDWARD" I started screaming_

"_Bella"_

"_Bella" said the soothing voice of an angel_

"Bella" he said once again and I was snapped out of my terrible dream

"Edward it was so terrible I remember everything" I said sobbing into his shirt

"It's okay love" Edward said wrapping his arms around me making me feel better in an instant

"I told him Edward, I told him that I would drive so he could sleep on the way home" crying harder than ever clinging onto his shirt for dear life I was drowning and I felt like I couldn't be saved

"He wouldn't listen he called me silly Edward he said he could make it" still crying Edward was running his fingers through my hair and kissing my head trying to sooth me and make me feel better

"I told him that he looked like the walking dead and that I could drive I had a permit and he was in the car but he wouldn't listen to me" sobbing and crying I probably looked like a blubbering idiot but Edward didn't seem to care he kept whispering soothing words telling me that everything would be alright

" I remember falling asleep in the car and then all the loud noises and my head hitting the window" I said cringing as I relived the pain of my head cracking off the window of the cruiser he seemed to feel my cringing and tightened his grip on me

"I yelled at Charlie to wake up but it was just too fast and then the tree all the pain I could smell the blood it was rusty and salty and I just wanted to be sick" I said

"I tried to get help there really fast Charlie was dying and I couldn't do anything" I said which started a new round of tears

"He said he loved me I told him to hold on and that I loved him too I tried to get him to wake up but he wouldn't"

"Bella you did everything that you could in that moment" Edward said in a firm tone

"This is not your fault Bella love" he said hugging me tighter willing me to believe him

"But I feel like it is why did I get to live when he had to die" I said quieting my sobs to a low whimpering into his soaked shirt

"I miss him so much Edward so much that it hurts" I said looking into his honey colored eyes

"Bella everything happens for a reason and I like to think that this brought us together I mean you lost Charlie but you gained me the love of your life and I like to think of myself like that and you're the love of my life" he said kissing the top of my head and moving his way down to kiss my tear stained lips

"Mmmmm taste like Bella" he said chuckling at his use of words I turned my lips up into a soft small smile

"Are you okay love?" Edward asked after our kiss was finished no matter how short lived it was his worry always shone through in everything he did I was like a breakable china doll to him

"Yes Edward I will be okay thanks to you the love of my life" he smiled his all famous crooked smile and kissed me over and over again

"I've heard you say that you love me but hearing you say that I'm the love of your life just makes my eternity seem that much better" smiling even wider I hugged him closer to my body and started running my hand through his bronze locks enjoying the feel of his silky smooth hair he laid his head right on my heart and sighed in contentment

"Your heartbeat keeps me here I love it and could probably tell your heart beat out of everybody it soothes me" he said tenderly as he stroked my arm in tiny circles

"Well I'm glad I could do that for you really its not hard work" I said he started laughing at my attempted humor

"Funny" he said

"I thought it was" I said pouting he didn't like my attempt at humor I bit my lip trying to convey that he hurt my feelings but the only thing he did was take my bottom lip into his mouth sucking gently on it

"mmmm" I moaned writhing against him deepening our kiss further I licked his lips and in turn causing him to groan into my mouth it turned me on so much I felt the wetness pool in between my legs I was so wet and sexually frustrated I was a virgin for fuck sake but I could still be frustrated getting close to the brink only to be denied because he wanted to stay in control I whimpered at the thought of going another night feeling like this I was the one in control now and I had to stop this because otherwise he was going too

"Stop" I said with all that I had I didn't want to stop but why let him know that

"What did I hurt you oh my god Bella are you okay I'm so sorry" he said rushing out all of his words apologizing for pretty much nothing

"No you didn't hurt me" I said frustrated with him why does he always think he's doing something wrong

"What's wrong love" he said genuinely concerned for my well being but if that was the case he would shut up and do me already

"You that's what's wrong Edward YOU, always have to be in control never testing me not doing what I want, I want you Edward that's what I want all of you, no pieces or parts being held back" I said angry tears rolling down my face yelling near the end of my tirade

"That's not fair Bella you know that I want to too" he spat out at me raising his voice slightly

"Do I?" I spat back at him mad at him for denying me rejecting me

"Bella I want you so badly why don't you understand that?" he said lowering his voice begging for me to believe him to believe what he was saying to me

"Well let's see every time we get close to anything remotely resembling sex you back off and run away to go hunting because you 'think you're going to lose your control I know you Edward and I don't think you would lose control with me" I said yelling at him again and the other vampires in the house could probably hear my rant

"Bella" he said warningly

"Don't Bella me Edward I know your scared shitless and so am I but at least I'm willing to attempt it because I love you and want to be with you, you won't even consider trying" I said tears still rolling down my face my defeated posture made its way towards the door

"Bella where are you going in the middle of the night"

"Alice she'll understand maybe in that time you can think through all your stupid control issues that you think you have" I said still angry and upset with him I looked up at him before I closed our bedroom door he looked so broken unresolved issues floating past his eyes I wanted to go back to him and tell him that everything would be okay but maybe just maybe If I took charge he would come to his senses and realize that he can do this with me maybe he just doesn't want me like I want him I just didn't know anymore I want Edward so badly all of him he is always holding back the one part that I want. I just want him to share himself with me and vise a versa I would be sharing myself entirely to him I would do that for Edward why would he do that for me

"Bella" the sound of Alice's voice cut through my foggy mind in the time I had been thinking I had made my way to Alice's room I reached up and hugged her she had her own scent sweet very sweet just like her

"It's going to be okay Bella" she said leading me to her bed and sitting down with me keeping me in her embrace and letting go as I asked her questions about my future and Edward

"How do you know that Alice what if he doesn't want me like I want him" It was too far past me to be embarrassed right now I just needed a girl and Alice was the one

"Bella you forget I see the future and I see you guys it will happen believe me Bella and you'll be just like us too"

"What you mean I'm going to be a vampire like you guys" I said becoming a little happier then I would be Edwards equal

Alice got the blank expression on her face that always says "I'm having a vision" look so I knew she was having a vision

"NO" I heard it thunderously roared from the direction of Edward's room apparently Alice hadn't told Edward that I would be a vampire and he didn't like that very much I then heard a bunch of crashing and then complete silence

"Damnit Edward now I have to get you new furniture" Alice said but I had a feeling Edward couldn't hear her he was long gone hunting or something to cool his attitude down a bit.

"Am I that bad that Edward doesn't want to be with me to be a vampire like him" I said as new tears formed and started rolling down my face apparently I was so horrible he didn't want me to be like him to be his equal

"Bella can you stay here in my room for the night I need to go pound some sense into Edwards thick skull okay"

"Yea that's fine you can do more physical damage than I can" I said laughing at the thought of me actually hurting Edward

"Alice I know he's been a real jerk but for me can you go easy on him" I asked a sad smile plastered on my face

"Yea Bella I'll try, that's all I can promise you" she said the same sad smile plastered on my face was now plastered on hers too

"WE will be back in the morning so try and sleep you're going to need it for tomorrow night" she said emphasizing the WE in the whole thing

"Wait tomorrow night what's then?" I asked

"You're going to seduce Edward silly I thought you would remember that" like it was the most obvious thing in the world

"No no no no no Alice I can't do that after today" I said panicking at how close it was

"Bella you can and you will I have trust in you and I definitely have the trust in Edward that you can pull this off remember I can see the future." She said tapping her fingers on her temples I decided right then and there I would do it because I wanted it so badly and maybe that sounded selfish but I didn't care because I needed Edward I just hoped he needed me just as much

"Okay Alice shoo I need my beauty sleep if I'm going to pull this off" I said laughing I could do this I had to be confident enough in myself to pull it off

"Bella you don't need beauty sleep your beautiful enough as it is" Alice said with sincerity in her words I just smiled at her and then I rolled my eyes at her laying my head down on her pillow I yawned Alice took the covers and put them over me I drifted into a dreamless state hoping that Edward would just come to his senses


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up refreshed and still kind of upset at what took place last night. If I remember right Edward had agreed to try and make love to me he can't withdraw his words. Maybe he thinks I forgot but that is far from it. Today would be the day we had a big fight and then later in the night I would seduce him I only hoped it would work

I laid awake for a little while closing my eyes and enjoying the sun beams on my face warming me up to the core

I opened my eyes to find topaz ones staring at me and in our room not Alice's anymore I looked around and spotted that the bookcase had been thrown through the 52' plasma TV grrrreeeaaatttteee

"Hi" I said timidly sitting myself up looking him in the eyes searching for any trace of the anger that I had seen last night but what I seen was breathtaking caramel orbs of goodness

"Sorry" he said looking skittish like he didn't want to be here or he was afraid of what I would say to him well good be afraid be very very afraid

"For what Edward you don't want me to be a vampire and you don't want to make love to me what could you possibly be sorry for" I said giving him his morning dose of sarcasm he deserved it for all I cared and yet I acted like I didn't care and really in all reality I was devastated that he didn't want what I wanted

"Bella can we not fight and just talk please" he said peering into my eyes staring at their boring brown color

"Sure" I huffed out still feeling like being a bitch

"Bella I'm sorry for everything I said and I know I said that we would try but if I lost you I don't know what I would do and I love you but becoming a vampire really I don't want to take away your soul I don't want to end your life" he said when I went to say something about having a soul he put his hands up to my lips

"Let me finish please" he said and I just nodded in agreement

"All my life I have gone through the day to day activities living but never really feeling yes I would laugh when everyone else laughed and frown in the right moments answer the right questions with everything I did, I was never really complete" he said still looking me in my eyes reading my expressions as he said everything

"Then I met you Bella and my whole world changed everything was brighter it's like my eyes had been veiled Bella and after you everything was clear I felt human again I could be doing the most mundane things with you and it would seem brand new and exciting"

Great he thinks the things we do are mundane how freaking great well I will have to change that tonight I looked back into his eyes processing what he was saying while reading his expressions doing the same as he was doing to me

"Don't you see love you're my life I can't live without you and if that means you will have to become a vampire like me then I guess I will have to live with that but I'm going to let you know I don't like this and not because I don't love you I do really but because I'm taking your soul away from you" he said the last part quietly

"Can I talk now" he just nodded at me looking down from my eyes

"Edward look at me" I said putting my hand under his chin trying to pull him up to eye level he finally peered up at me locking my brown eyes to his warm butterscotch ones

"I love you" I said very slowly

"I would give up everything to be with you Edward you have to know that" begging him to understand I took his face into my hands putting our foreheads together trying to get as close as possible

"You have a soul Edward" I stated

"Bella I" he began to tell me otherwise I put my hand on his lips shushing him in the process

"Don't Bella me Edward I've seen your soul don't you understand your beautiful handsome kind and everything in between if you didn't have a soul you would have killed me long ago but you didn't because you love me and because. You. Have. A. Soul." I said trying to convince him this was an ongoing fight that one day I hoped to win with each word I poked him in his rock hard chest

"I'm a monster" he said mumbling it through my fingers

"Edward you are not a monster everyday you tell me I'm beautiful and that you love me you hum a lullaby to get me to sleep you stay with me when I have nightmares and you stay with me when I want you to even though it causes you physical pain to be that close to my blood you catch me whenever I fall and hold me up when I need you" I said explaining my heart to him and why he wasn't a monster he could never be a monster in my eyes

"If you want me to agree to thinking of myself as beautiful you're going to have to agree that you're not a monster" I said with finality no room for arguments

"I will try Bella but only for you it's you that does this to me love and only you" he said nuzzling his head in my neck smelling my yummy smelling blood

"And I will try to Edward but only for you because I love you with all my heart" I said repeating his words in some sense knowing that he need to hear that knowing that I felt the same way about his as he did about me

We embraced each other just enjoying the feel of each other's arms and loving the fact that we were alone but who knew that wouldn't last long in a house full of vampires you're bound to get interrupted

Knock…………………….Knock………………Knock

Three loud knocks sounded on the door I groaned and tried to pull away from Edward but he wasn't having any of that he pulled me tighter to him

"Let go Edward" I half whined half laughed the knocking on the door just kept up

"Who goes there" I said laughing

"Open the door Bella we need to talk and some other stuff" Alice said huffing and puffing like she was the big bad wolf I just giggled at her still trying to get free of Edwards grip

"Alice give me a couple more hours PUHLEEEAAASE" I begged apparently Alice wasn't in the fighting mood or she didn't want to break down the door she walked away grumbling incoherent words

Maybe she seen my future and thought it best to leave me up here with her brother talk about a terrible power seeing your brother naked and all your other family members

"Edward remember how you said we would try" I whispered knowing he would hear me the moment the words came out he visibly tensed was it really so bad

"Yes" he said strained

"Does the offer still stand you know trying"

"Yes Bella but I also said we had to stop when I feel like I'm going to lose control" he said

"If that's the case though we won't even get to the touchy feely phase let alone a 2nd 3rd or home run bases" I said complaining at his terms to this whole agreement I was whining like a petulant child but I didn't care I wanted my way

"Okay Bella you don't like that proposition I have another one for you" he said smirking at me why the hell does he have to be so damn hot any other guy that smirked at me and I would be smacking it off his face

"Anything" I said without thinking

"Okay hold on a sec" he said running into his closet and running back to me within the second I'm sure it was even shorter than that like a millisecond

"Edward freaking warn me when you do that it scares me" I said playfully scolding him

"Sorry" he said grinning sheepishly

"Okay Bella now remember you said anything" he said and then he went to get down on one knee oh my god this isn't happening no no no I shouldn't have said anything well wait maybe this was good Isabella Marie Cullen that had a nice ring to it right no pun intended on the ring I told myself this was perfect

"Isabella Marie Swan will you marry me?" he asked perfectly and then instead of stopping there he had to make it that much sweeter

"I've loved you from the first time I saw you you're my life and I hope to spend the rest of eternity with you"

I couldn't speak it was like the cat literally took my tongue and voice box and ran laughing in its wake

I nodded because it was the only thing I could do of course I would marry him

"Bella you have made me the happiest man in the world no wait slash that this universe" he said picking me up off of our bed and twirling me I was laughing in sheer happiness my life couldn't get any better

"Edward I have a couple of conditions though" I said hoping he would accept my rules if you wanted to call it that

"What are they Bella" Edward seemed to be on a high and I was also but I wanted to get this out of the way before I could be really truly happy

"I want to be changed which you already agreed to but I want you to do it and I want to make love on our honeymoon night" I said in a rushed breath hoping he caught it all because I didn't like to repeat myself.

"Bella" Edward said to me frowning thinking of ways he could protest what I was asking

"I'm the most dangerous one to you Bella don't you understand I could lose control more than Carlisle could because your blood sings to me and yes I already agreed that we would make love and I'm not arguing that I'm just arguing the fact that you want to be changed by me what if I lost control love?"

"You wouldn't and I'm going to keep telling you that you won't lose control and when I am turned I will be saying I told you so" I said sticking my tongue out at him and lightening the situation a little

"Bella I can't lose control with you me tasting your blood would be bad what if I couldn't stop" he kept saying lose control but I kept reassuring him that he wouldn't

He sighed really loudly

"Fine but I have conditions for you condition" he said saying that tongue twister with ease I laughed at that it was funny

"What are they Edward" I said he was going to try and change my mind

"Carlisle will have to be there" he said like I would actually say no to that

"Okay" I said excited that we could get over this little road bump easily and now that everything was clear I could be elated I let my smile take over my whole face and Edward returned one ten times the intensity of mine I kissed him all over his face excited I was going to be a Cullen

"Bella Cullen" he whispered in my ear with a husky voice

"AHHHHHHHHHH" we both heard a blood curdling scream o my damn I'm scared is that Alice

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**I know its short next chapter will be wedding planning and Alice going psycho because that's just how she is gotta love her. **

**There will be lemons after the wedding Bella decided that since they were now getting married there would be no reason to try and seduce him when she knows she's getting it on there honeymoon**

**Please R&R I will get chapters up faster if you do it's like written encouragement.**


	10. Chapter 10

5 days later and I was exhausted between wedding planning and making enough time for Edward it was horrible who knew it took so much to plan a wedding 2 days until my wedding and I couldn't be more excited I just prayed I didn't fall asleep at the altar that would be terrible and just ruin everything.

Alice was talking about wedding colors and placemats and some other stuff but me being tired I was starting to doze off but not before Ali caught me

"Bella" Alice snapped snapping me back into reality

"Sorry Alice just tired" I said trying to plaster a smile on my face

"I was asking if you wanted green or gold colors for the ribbons on the bouquets" she said exasperated

"Gold" I said remembering Edwards golden orbs it just made me miss him that much more I only had one more night with him and then I had to stay with Alice and Rose

"Okay okay I have Rose and I's dress already if you want to approve of them and then everything should be good all we have to do is set up everything but tomorrow we can relax and have girl time" she said getting really excited near the end she couldn't wait to have a sleep over even though vampires can't sleep but who was I to crush her fun of having a sleep over

"No Alice I trust you and I loved my dress so I'm sure I would love yours" I said starting to get the excited feeling in the pit of my stomach I felt like I was going to burst with anticipation

"Okay Bella you're done for now I don't think there's anything else I have to ask just be ready for the wedding" she said giving me the go to leave and be with Edward I jumped my tired bones up and pretty much ran my clumsy ass back to my love

I made it to the bedroom before my foot caught on anything imaginary but my luck was terrible and before I knew it I was barreling for the floor goody goody I missed you floor but before my face met the ground familiar strong arms were wrapped around my waist hoisting me up from my doom

"Bella Bella didn't anybody tell you to be careful I don't want you in a cast at our wedding" he said smirking the whole way

"Ha Ha Edward way to make fun of your future wife" I said trying to make him feel bad for making fun of me

"I wasn't making fun of you I was stating a mere fact" he said all cocky and confident god if I could hit him and actually make it hurt that would be great just wait until I became a vampire the first thing I was doing was hitting him just to make up for all those times I really wanted too

"One more night together" I said sadness laced in my words I don't know how I was going to be able to sleep without him

"I know but the next time we're together we'll be married" he said trying to make me feel better it worked a little but I didn't know if I could make it through the night without having a nightmare

"I can't wait but what if I have a bad dream and you're not there" I said starting to get upset

"Bella I already thought of this and I didn't want to give it to you until the morning and it won't be the same as me humming to you but I hope it will keep away all the bad dreams while I'm gone" he said rummaging through his things he came back with an I-pod handing it to me I searched through the songs they were all untitled

"What are these" I asked really I knew but hearing him say it would be better

"I made a list of your lullaby so it will stay on constant repeat" he said looking sheepish

"Oh Edward this is wonderful I love it thank you so much" I said jumping up and down like a school girl I jumped into his lap hugging him and kissing him all over he was tense at first but he got into it I probably surprised him by my sudden movements but I wasn't about to apologize I loved him and I wanted him to know that I looked down at him and his eyes were just brows knit together in concentration

"Bella… Bella stop" he said getting turned on I could feel his hardness on my center I was probably making it worse by moving and grinding on him I wasn't doing it on purpose I was just excited

"Sorry baby" I said kissing him and hopping off of his lap

"Thank you it was very thoughtful of you I was starting to get scared of being alone but you made it worth it and I can't wait to see you waiting at the altar for me" I said cuddling up next to his side I didn't need pillows anymore Edward was my personal pillow I still didn't know how I was going to make it but I would do it for Edward

"Get some rest Bella tomorrow is going to be a long day I want you to be well rested I'm thinking that Rose and Alice are planning something for you but I don't know there blocking me right now" he said sounding frustrated at the end of his speech

"Exciting" I muttered waiting for Edward to start humming to me so I could go to sleep

"I love you Edward Cullen" I said as I always did before I went to sleep

"I love you Bella Cullen" he said my soon to be new name I just looked at him funny

Edward chuckled and pulled me closer he started humming my lullaby and I was a goner I couldn't stay up even if I tried I was dog-tired so I gave into my body and let sleep take me

The next morning I woke up to an empty bed where the hell is Edward he better not have left me without saying goodbye I would be very upset as I was about to get up I felt something crinkle I lifted it up and it looked like a note from Edward

_**Bella,**_

_**Take good care of my heart I've left it with you. I'll see you at the altar I'll be the one in black**_

_**I will be waiting for you my love, you are my life now**_

_**Love, Edward**_

I was in tears at how sweet Edward was even though I couldn't see him in person but I was putting most of the blame on Alice and how everything has to be played by the book with her even though none of this was by the book I mean how many times a day do you hear a vampire and a human are getting married but I would play by Alice's rules she did get my wedding done in a week much to my dismay I would've rather gotten married by an Elvis impersonator but like I said this makes everyone happy I'm sure in a hundred years I would appreciate that I had a proper wedding.

"Alice" I yelled waiting for the tell tale signs that she was coming upstairs

"Yes Bella" Alice said

"What are the plans for today since I can't see Edward am I allowed to talk to him" I said hoping she would let me talk to him I really didn't want to sulk all day

"I don't know Bella really but our plans are to get dressed up we're going to the club we're going partay" she said dragging out party sounding all funny

"Really Alice I can't dance I'm going to fall flat on my face and what are the guys doing" I said hoping she would give me details as to what they were doing what Edward was doing

"You're not going to fall Bella and the guys are doing their own little bachelor party thing which isn't bad there hunting and goofing around" she said explaining the bachelor party thing which is lucky there better not be any strippers I would hurt Edward and I'm sure Rose and Alice would do the same thing to Emmett and Jasper

"Alright where is this club we're going to?" I asked wanting to get this night over with

"It's called Twilight" she said looking stoked to be going dancing she has been asking me for a long time but I denied her each of those times I guess I wouldn't be getting out of this one DAMN I thought to myself guess I would have to break my leg again for them to understand I was clumsy and that probably wasn't going to change even with vampirism

"Okay what time are we going?" I asked usually she would be giving me more details

"Well sleepy head you slept till 10 so we have all this time to get ready and we'll arrive there at 6" Alice said happily I just groaned I was going to be Bella Barbie all day long

"Okay Bella take a shower and meet me in my room Rose will be there to don't take too long we're wasting enough time as it is" Alice hopped up off of my bed and made her way to the door waiting for me to get into the shower

I got into the shower 5 minutes later and just enjoyed the hot water running down my back loosening up my tense muscles I hoped tonight went okay without a hitch I didn't want to visit the E.R. tonight that would be horrible

I got to Alice's room 20 minutes later my towel still around my head hair still damp

Alice got straight to work pulling and primping my hair working on my outfit getting it just perfect and then my make up but I limited her on that because I didn't want to look like I had caked the makeup on looking like fake plastic Barbie bitch with an inch of cover up on but Alice always knows what's right everything looked wonderful I looked like one hot hot person but then Rosalie walked in and all my self confidence that I thought I had had was diminished into tiny little ashes

After hours of watching Alice and Rosalie get ready we were ready and a raring to go with our new looks you would think we were prostitutes but that surely wasn't the case we were women on a mission to have a good time I walked or more like stumbled into our room taking one last look this would be the last night that I was in our room as Bella Swan I would be Bella Cullen and that just made me more anxious to get this night over with I laid my head back only to hear something crinkle what the hell was that I rolled over and grabbed the piece of paper that wasn't here when I left to Alice's room

**Bella,**

**I can't wait until I see you tomorrow you have made my life so much better my heart is left with you tonight so please take good care of it. I will be waiting to see you beautiful and in your wedding dress I know that you will look amazing I can't wait to spend eternity with you in my arms please have fun with Alice and Rosalie tonight they only mean good with their intentions and you look wonderful if I must say so myself.**

With the last line I started to frantically look around was he here would I get to see him again god I wanted to see him inhale his sent find comfort in his arms and ignore Alice with her yelling that I couldn't see my fiancé right now who made up this stupid rule I read the last line of the note and knew that I wouldn't be the nervous jittery bride tomorrow I would be the impatient one waiting until the wedding march sounded so I could bolt down the aisle

**I Love You,**

**Your future husband Edward**

I sighed at the last line god could he get any more perfect

"Bella" I heard Alice and Rosalie yell at the same time I'm sure she timed it perfectly knowing Alice

"Coming" I said yelling back down at them I grabbed the heals that I had slipped off and darted for the stairs slowing down before I hit the first step not wanting to fall down the stairs that would be terrible

"What took you so long?" Rosalie asked but I seen the smug look on Alice's face because she had already known

"Why didn't you tell me he was here Alice" I grumbled at her my mood souring because I couldn't see Edward right now

"Oh don't you get all grumpy with me at least I let him in the house I threatened to tell you what was going to happen after the wedding if he tried to come near you" she said all proud of herself for keeping away Edward

"What are we doing after the wedding?"I said in the off chance that she might tell me

"Nice try Bella I can see the future you're not going to trick me" she said in tinkling laughter

"Alright Alright let's get this night over I have a vampire to marry" I said and they both grimaced with my blatant use of the word vampire

It took us 45 minutes to get to this low key club in Port Angeles I didn't know how we were going to get in but Alice knows everything so I just let her lead the way there was a very long line this was going to take forever for us to get in but as we surpassed everyone I started to get confused what were they going to do

"Hello ladies" said the bouncer holding the red rope blocking everyone from getting in

I blushed when the big burly bouncer set his sights on me winking

"We just wanted to have a good time stud" Rosalie purred at him I was completely shocked when she did that

"O...Okay" she stuttered figures Rosalie has that ability to make men speechless

"Ladies you have a good time tonight and if you need anything you just let me know" he said with a double entendre to his words god guys are disgusting except for my Edward

He raised the red rope letting us in to the club I was assaulted by smoke and the smell of alcohol god this is what people say having a good time is I would rather stay with Edward

"Okay were going to order some drinks"

"But you don't drink"

"For looks Bella"

"Oh" I said feeling stupid

"And we paid a considerable amount to party and not getting carded" said Alice

"Alice really spending a lot of money was that necessary I don't need to drink in fact I don't want to drink" I said trying to argue with her why would I want to get drunk the night before my wedding

"Okay Bella we won't force you to drink unless we have to so let's have some fun dancing"

"I can't dance Alice" I said for the millionth time with being a vampire I shouldn't have had to repeat myself so many times I felt like a broken record

"We will teach you duh Bella" Rosalie said with a hint of annoyance in her voice she grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor where everybody was grinding on each other practically having sex on the floor

Alice stood in front of me as did Rosalie they started grinding their hips together showing me how I was supposed to dance I started moving my hips to the beat starting to enjoy myself when I started to get thirsty Alice already fore seen what I would need and handed me a water where she had this hidden I have no idea but I practically chugged down drink feeling my energy renewed I started dancing with renewed vigor this was great I would have to go dancing with Edward after our honeymoon I was enjoying moving my hips to the beat and I hadn't fallen so I think I was doing pretty fantastic

"I have to go to the restroom" I said to Alice and Rosalie knowing they would both hear me even over the loud music they both started to follow me but I stopped them I didn't need someone holding my hand while I was going to the bathroom even if Edward thought that I had to be watched every second of the day. They both stopped there advances to follow me and picked up dancing again

The bathrooms were smelly to say the least but I got myself in there I was looking in the mirror fixing my hair it was started to get frizzy from the humidity and sweating that I was doing

I walked out of the bathroom to only be met with a brick wall what the hell I fell backwards and looked up it was Jacob

"Jacob what are you doing here?" I asked him I hadn't seen him since I had been in the hospital and that was awhile ago I wonder what he was doing here

"Getting drunk Bella what does it look like" he slurred out he was totally not of age and I know I sound hypocritical but Jacob is younger than me and I'm not drinking even though I could if I wanted to

"Jacob your drunk shouldn't you be with Billy" I asked wondering how Billy was coping after Charlie's death I know it had been awhile but they were like brothers

"It's your fault Bella" he said a sneer covering his face I sucked in a breath it was like I had been punched

"Jacob how could you"

"No how could you Bella you knew how close my dad and your dad were and you took him from us" he said getting more belligerent the alcohol causing him to get angry faster

"Jacob I never meant for that to happen" I said tears starting to run down my face I looked at him he didn't even look like the same Jacob I had always known he was angry and drunk I had to get out of here where are Alice and Rosalie

"He's not the same Bella that's your fault" he said raising his voice so he was yelling at me I was starting to get scared at how Jacob looked right now if looks could kill I would be 6 feet under right now and that upset me more

"I…"

"You probably did it on purpose so you could spend all your time with your bloodsucker boyfriend didn't you" he spat at me anger lacing in all of his words a sneering look staring down at me

"How did you…" how did he know about the Cullen's?

"Bella I'm not dumb" he said

I got up to leave I needed to get out of here Charlie's accident wasn't my fault was it? I don't know anymore everybody tells me it's not my fault but was it really

"Don't you turn your back on me Bella I'm not done with you" he said latching his hand on my arm

"Jacob you are hurting me" I said whimpering at the pressure he was putting on my arm

"You hurt Billy" he said as if that was reasoning enough that he was hurting me

"Let go of her now" a deadly voice said behind Jacob I recognized it as Alice's voice I had never heard her voice that deadly before

"Why should I?" Jacob bristled at who was behind him as he got angrier his grip tightened causing me to whimper again I was definitely going to have a bruise there

"I don't really want to cause a scene here and I am really close to ripping your face of right now dog" Rosalie said the anger in her voice making me shudder

"Yeah right leach as if you could hurt me" Jacob spat at Rosalie

"You're running my patience thin dog" why did she keep saying dog what was going on the only thing I could think of was the pain in my arm

"Take the killing bitch" he said throwing me into the wall by my arm I hit my head hard and felt like passing out from all the drama but I couldn't let that happen I had to stay awake I just wanted to stay awake long enough to get home and go to sleep I was getting married tomorrow I couldn't let this ruin my mood

Alice was at my side in a heartbeat asking me if I was okay

"Bella I swear I tried to get here sooner your future disappeared and I panicked I rushed here there were so many people I didn't want to hurt anyone what did he say to you?"

"I want to go home" I said which was the only thing I could say right now I didn't want to be sad I wanted to be happy and ignore this like it never happened but everything he said was true it was totally my fault that my father was dead I could've convinced him to let me drive

My brain was overflowing with all the information Jacob thought this was my fault how many other people thought that I was my fault did Edward was he just lying to me to make me feel better

"Okay Bella" Alice said I remotely remember Rosalie pinning Jacob up against the wall ripping him a new one but all I could concentrate on was getting home Alice sat me in her yellow Porsche and a couple seconds later Rosalie was getting in

Alice rushed home I got out of the Porsche and made my way to the house I didn't want to talk to anyone I was a killer how could Edward want to be with me I killed my father

I bolted for Edward and I's room just as the sob that had been building up broke free I locked the door behind me and curled myself up in a ball and cried until I couldn't cry anymore I heard 3 quiet knocks

"Bella let me in please" Alice asked all sweetly

"No" I said crying again more tears running down my face

"Please Bella" Alice said pleading through the door

"Alice just leave me alone" I said starting to get angry I just wanted to wallow in my own grief and shame

"Alright Bella if that's what you want" she said sounding broken I heard her step going away from the door I lost track of time I didn't know if I had been crying for days hours minutes I just didn't know I wanted Edward with me

I heard 3 more knocks on the door couldn't Alice just leave me alone

"Leave me alone Alice" I said yelling louder than I had before

"Bella" Edwards pained voice broke through my tears Alice called Edward? O thank god

I jumped up from the bed and rushed to the door unlocking it as fast as my shaky fingers would

"Edward" I said jumping into his cold arms crying harder

"Bella what happened" he said upset that I was crying I was yet again ruining another shirt of his

"Jacob" I said and as soon as the name left my lips Edward tensed and then growled

"What did that dog do?" he asked apparently he couldn't get it from Alice's or Rosalie's mind

"He. . . He" and I started sobbing again

"I'm a killer" I said still crying through my confessions

"He said that I was a killer and a bitch and. . . and can't you see Edward how could you want to marry me I'm a killer I killed Charlie" I got everything out it felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders Edward was the best and I didn't deserve him I wasn't going to tell him about the huge purplish blue bruise on my arm

"Bella don't ever say that again Jacob was just mad and he will pay for upsetting and hurting you but you're not a killer love" he said trying to convince me otherwise

"Stop lying to me Edward" I yelled at him getting angry

"Bella I have never lied to you and I wouldn't think of starting now you didn't kill Charlie" he said punctuating the last 4 words

"I feel like it's my fault Edward like I can never escape the feeling that I killed Charlie" I said vulnerability in every word that I said to him I wanted to feel better again not as if I was a killer

"It's okay Bella but it's not your fault you have to know that" he said kissing my lips with his soft cold ones gently brushing his lips over mine

"I will always tell you the truth Bella you have to believe that I wouldn't lie to you I love you and I can't wait to marry you tomorrow"

"Oh Edward I love you too" I said hugging him closer to my body

"Alice says I can stay until morning and then I have to go" he said scowling at the fact that he couldn't stay with me all day

"That's good with me I get to spend the night with you" I said snuggling into his side and waiting for my lullaby to be sung so I could have a peaceful night's sleep in my fiancé's soon to be husband's arms

**_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _**

**Hey this is a really long chapter for me 10 pages I hope you like the wedding is the next chapter I hope there aren't too many mess ups please leave reviews that would be greatly appreciated! **


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